Joke o' the day

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants.

The bartender says, "What's with the steering wheel?"

"Aaarrrr!" says the pirate. "It's drivin' me nuts!"

The origins of woot!

According to the fabulous Wikipedia, the perfect go-to source for this kind of information, the exclamation "woot" started as a Dungeons and Dragons bit of jargon contracting the phrase, "Wow! Loot!" and quickly evolved into an expression of joy.

Hackers may be familiar with w00t as a term for root or admin access to a computer, according to the Urban Dictionary.

And careful readers of The Canterbury Tales will find Chaucer using it to mean "know," as he did in line 849 of "The Wife of Bath's Tale" ("For wel I woot thy pacience is gon"), again according to Wikipedia.

Woot!

Woot!

Among the noveling this month the trend seems to be the exclamation WOOT! Every few posts someone lets one out. Funny!

Fun to be on this side of the big goal. Kicking back tonight after 3,400 words today. Ending, what ending? Oh, that ending....

Tiny rant

[on soapbox]
You people!

(And you know who you are!)

Oh, sure, you're all supportive when we talk about "leaving the inner editor behind" and writing "shitty first drafts." But then I get to 48,000 words and you're all clamoring to read the 50,000 words! Who said this was anything to read? It's certainly been something to write, but may I gently inform you that a) it's not finished and b) it's a rough draft. So give me walla walla more minutes so I can make it into something. Now it's only almost something. I'm just starting to be able to say what it's really about, 50,000 words into the project. Holy cow!

And there's no need to assume I'll drop everything after the 30th. And this part even ties into my story: There's simply no need for any talk about people with whips to stand over me next month. I didn't seem to need that kind of "prodding" this month, did I?

Thank you for your compassion.
[off soapbox]


p.s. feel free to borrow this rant and adapt it to your own purposes as needed.

-----------
Nanowrimo 2006: Mix Tapes for Boys and Girls
48,000 words and counting....

Try it on your stovetop! Viola! or The Many Magical Qualities of WD-40

In my in-box this morning (unedited):

thought that you might like to know more about this well-known WD-40 product.

When you read the "shower door" part, try it. It's the first thing that has cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass It's a miracle!

Then try it on your stovetop... Viola! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.

The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a " W ater D isplacement" compound.
They were successful with the Fortieth formulation, thus WD-40 .

The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their Atlas missile parts.

The workers were so pleased with the product they began smuggling (also known as "shrinkage" or "stealing") it out to use at home.

The executives decided there might be a consumer market for it and put it in aerosol cans. The rest is history. It is a carefully guarded recipe known only to four people. One of them is the "brew master." There are about 2.5 million gallons of the stuff manufactured each year It gets its distinctive smell from a fragrance that is added to the brew. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.

Here are a few of the 1000s of uses:

~Protects silver from tarnishing
~Cleans and lubricates guitar strings
~Gets oil spots off concrete driveways
~Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery
~Keeps flies off cows
~Restores and cleans chalkboards
~Removes lipstick stains
~Loosens stubborn zippers
~Untangles jewelry chains
~Removes stains from stainless steel sinks
~Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill
~Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing
~Removes tomato stains from clothing
~Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots
~Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors
~Keeps scissors working smoothly
~Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes
~Gives a children's play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide
~Lubricates gear shift and mower - deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers
~Rids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises
~Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open
~Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close
~Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards and vinyl bumpers
~Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles
~Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans
~Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons and bicycles for easy handling
~Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly
~Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools
~Removes splattered grease on stove
~Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging
~Lubricates prosthetic limbs
~Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell)
~Removes all traces of duct tape
~I have even heard of folks spraying it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
~Florida's favorite use was "cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers
~The favorite use in the state of New York
~ WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
~WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. It's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
~Keeps away chiggers on the kids

~Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately, and stops the itch.

~WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.

~Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!

~If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start. (If I knew what a distributor cap was, it might help)

~WD-40, long known for its ability to remove leftover tape smunges (sticky label tape), is also a lovely perfume and air freshener! Sprayed liberally on every hinge in the house, it leaves that distinctive clean fresh scent for up to two days!

~Seriously though, it removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

~Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!

Sometimes I wonder...

...whether my espresso machine is my slave or vice versa.

How self-congratulatory of me

This was my inspired post of the week:

Guest wrote:
> no. we are having a yellow tomato party at the
> world headquarters of tasty flour.

say wha? am i the only one who's lost here?

Guest wrote:
> i think it should be a halloween themed party in SF!
> Oh how i love halloween, and gomez and the flaming lips
> shows where everybody shows up dressed like animals.

I think we should all come as tomatoes. Yellow tomatoes and tasty flour.
__________________
The Onion: You're doing the voice of God for an audiobook version of the Bible. How does the voice of God differ from the voice of Samuel L. Jackson?
Samuel L. Jackson: Not very much.

that inner voice

I have been reading a couple of kinds of books over the past month (although less of all of them since losing my glasses ten days ago. grrr.): books about the high incidence of mania in people who emigrated and went to America; and groupie memoirs (one by one of the members of the GTOs (Girls Together Outrageously), who I used to listen to back when their album came out; and the other memoir by an East Coast girl instead, who has decided she is god's gift. Well, they both decide that, with much trial and error and in many different pairings, both concluding with great relationships with much younger men.)

In reading one of the groupie books, the West Coast one, I found a reference to a friend's son, and since I had recently got in touch with the friend I found myself thinking of her and her kid a lot. Wondering how they came through those years. And I kept hearing my little voice say, "Call K. Contact her." So I sent an e-mail, but haven't heard back and am not particularly surprised. She's in the middle of her life.

I wonder whether reaching out to Ms. K. is about when I knew her, I messed around with her then-partner's kid and his sister. I think I was ten or eleven. Between us the sister and I pushed the younger brother into doing things that really bothered him, without knowing he would be in physical (and emotional) pain until he was and it was too late. I have always felt bad about that. But just now I looked at myself and saw myself as a kid who did not know I was doing harm, who was just doing what I had learned from other kids and without much intervention from my parents.

I don't think some kids today, the ones who are micromanaged and thoroughly scheduled and under their parents' gaze from the end of school until bedtime, get as much opportunity for sex play as I did, growing up with my laissez-faire-in-that-respect parents. And those of us with kids now comment on having grown up a mere thirty or thirty-five years ago in places where our parents would just say, "Go outside and play," and we would, for hours with no one checking on us. The assumption was that if anything was wrong, they'd hear of it, but everyone was going to be fine on their own. And for the most part we were, but other times we raised hell and no one was the wiser. Now it feels like a kind of maturity, being able to forgive myself for not knowing better at times like those, for the hurt I may have inflicted and for the humiliations I put myself through not knowing it was okay to say no. I sure hope that one kid grew up okay, though.